How to Use a Moroccan Pillow

For reasons beyond my understanding, Moroccans like to use bolster pillows on their beds instead of regular pillows. Bolster pillows are those cylindrical pillows, like a giant overstuffed down salami. The problem, of course, is that they’re incredibly uncomfortable; you may as well boost a car jack under your head and see how much you can torque your neck before you have some kind of spinal seizure. So I tossed mine to the side of the bed.

And then, on the first night in the Marrakesh riad, I was rudely awoken by a giant snoring hippopotamus with serious nasal phlegm issues. Snoring so loud and obnoxious it sounded like a far-fetched parody of snoring. I opened my eyes and was shocked to discover that it was my little brother Anatole responsible for this ungodly commotion. How it’s possible for him to generate that level of sonority I do not know.

He was too far to shake, I didn’t feel like yelling, and he showed no signs of abating. Conundrum. Then I remembered my 3ft. long bolster pillow. Eureka!

I grabbed the pillow, reached out, and whacked my brother on the head with it. A pause of 3 seconds, and then the snoring resumed. Huh?

I pointed the pillow at his face and prodded him with it. Instead of improving the snoring, it was like turning the dial on a radio station and getting a new form of static. From hippo my brother wheezed into a rendition of a herd of snorting water buffaloes. Unbelievable.

In desperation, I jabbed the pillow at the source of the snoring as hard as I could. Snort, grunt, smacking of lips. Anatole turned over on his side. Success!

Given the popularity of bolster pillows throughout the country, I suspect that this is a nation with a serious snoring problem. But very clever of them to have found such a convenient (and decorative) solution.